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  • Writer's pictureErin Chandler

What Today Brings

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” Rumi

I now have light coursing through my right femur according to Rumi, the revered Persian Poet and Sufi mystic from the thirteenth century. There were highs and lows on the personal front during 2018, events that were emotionally enriching as well as heartbreakingly disappointing. Professionally it was good year trudging enthusiastically toward my goals and recognizing the milestones accomplished.

In the end, 2018 gave me a sharp kick. On Christmas Eve, I fell down and broke my leg. What came was excruciating pain, the likes of which I had never experienced. Each time I was moved, to get in a stretcher, do x-rays, to be placed bed at the University of Kentucky’s Chandler Medical Center and then a transfer to Good Samaritan for surgery, I howled in agony for them to not touch my leg.

Miraculously, the day after Christmas, I had surgery with one of the best orthopedic doctors in the world, Dr. Stephen Thomas Duncan, who had given me hip replacements two years before. The moment I came out of surgery I was relieved of that unconscionable pain and the upswing began. It will take six weeks for my bone to heal but that seems a small price to pay for the reassurance that life will assuredly move forward and probably with more vigor and focus than ever before.

It has been difficult not to think I did something wrong to deserve such a blow after a pretty rough year. Maybe those last vices were not gotten rid of soon enough and the universe had to smack me into the right lane. Then again it is possible that nothing angers the powers that be, it is conceivable that God or the Infinite Light do not do business like Santa Claus watching for us to be naughty or nice and doling out health accordingly. I don’t know what I believe because both ideas sound plausible. It is my prayer that our creator only wants us to evolve, love and grow and that their patience is great and pure and infinite. It is my hope that we never disappoint them as long as we pick up and move forward. It is my wish that even if someone collapses under the weight of life, they are still looked upon as innocent children who took an experimental journey from the heavens and are not judged but guided softly back to the heavens.

Cormac McCarthy wrote in All the Pretty Horses, “Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real.” Yes, they do and now I have a doozy on my right leg from hip to knee. This new scar will forever remind me of this latest happening. This new scar was greeted by a few others from cancer, hip replacements and polymiocitis, an auto-immune deficiency that defined many years.

Frida Kahlo once said, “I think little by little I’ll be able to survive and solve my problems.” As will I. The gifts bestowed on this particular life, the jackpot of loving friends and family, the soul enriching and inspiring work and the myriad of hysterical characters accompanying the incredible adventures around the world also came with an overdose of health problems. That is my lot but I say to you with thankfulness from this hospital bed on New Year’s Eve, I am so looking forward to this year to come. I am hopeful and passionate and ready to squeeze every ounce of joy out of the years to come. I wish you all a beautiful, pain free, adventurous and love filled 2019.

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