“You are one thing only. You are a Divine Being. An all-powerful Creator. You are a Deity in jeans and a t-shirt, and within you dwells the infinite wisdom of the ages and the sacred creative force of all that is, will be and ever was.” – Anthon St. Maarten, Divine Living: The Essential Guide to Your True Destiny.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my ‘higher self’ and what that looks like. If you ever have trouble sleeping, you can go to YouTube on your phone, laptop or Kindle and type in sleep meditation. There you will find an endless supply of guided meditations and soft peaceful music from one to nine hours long. Some play soft piano, some Indian flutes and some consist wholly of Beta Waves, the often-imperceptible rhythmic pattern of our central nervous system. When composed in a certain way, the waves work on your over-active mind, calm you and put you right out. You will also find a selection by some of my favorites, Deepak Chopra, Jason Stephenson and Michael Sealey. They each have many guided meditations from healing your body whilst you sleep, detachment from overthinking, anxiety, OCD and depression to one called, “Meditation Sleep Hypnosis for Mind Body Spirit Cleansing,” with a soothing rainstorm in the background
What I have been pondering as of late are the ones that take you to meet your Spirit Guide and Higher Self. Following the lulling, syrupy voice of the tour guide, you are guided in your mind’s eye through a field of lavender or daisies, into a forest until you see a clearing which comes conveniently with a babbling brook and a large rock to sit. There you wait for an audience with your ‘higher self.’ I try hard to picture mine. I see her as an ethereal version of me. Surely, in Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s mind’s eye, his higher self resembles him. It is his higher self after all, self being the operative word. Actually, ‘higher’ is the operative word but self is in there, implying it is an extension of who we are. I imagine my higher self as a towering figure in a long, flowing white gown, hair longer and more golden than mine has ever been, her face almost a blur but she is me, me in another realm. Heaven is a word I use but the point is she comes from somewhere far wiser and more peaceful than I am even capable of imagining.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Every man is a divinity in disguise, a god playing the fool.” I believe this so deeply. The trick is to stop playing the fool and connect on a more permanent basis with the divine where we all surely hailed.
Each day seems to bring a combination of gratitude and struggle, gratitude for family, friends, knowledge and experiences, and struggle to pay the bills, reach my goals and heal my often fragile body. What would my higher self say? She hasn’t said anything yet, she just stands above me with a smile and open arms. I can’t see her face but I feel the peace she emanates, the sense that I am being silly and all is okay. All has been and always will be okay because after this life we are embraced with an enchantment our tiny ego-centric brains cannot fathom. During these meditative meetings with that angelic being that knows all, that entity who’s half smile conveys that our struggle is needless, I strive with all I can muster to recognize what about her I have mastered.
The conglomeration of everything our souls have ever been and ever will be, whether you imagine that in a long white gown or a pin striped suit, is who we are. Beyond the self-created story between our ears is a much larger version of us. This has become my passion, to become as close as I can to my higher self. This statement may seem a blatant contradiction to the fever pitch insatiable hunger I sometimes display for food, drink and accomplishments but at least at some level I am fully aware that the truth of our purpose lies far deeper than those petty pursuits. So that’s it, that is what today brings, a smattering of awareness mixed with joy that I am becoming more aware each day.